The Bland, The Bad, and The Godawful: Worst Country Singles of 2012 (so far)

Warning: ranting ahead.

For the most part, I don't see the point of writing incredibly negative reviews of songs or albums. If I don't like a song or album I will usually just not write about it; I am simply not passionate enough in my hatred to waste the time. I understand the need for people to make a living and provide for their families, and sometimes that means you have to compromise when you don't want to. But the people on this list (and quite a few of those behind the scenes and not necessarily on the screens) live wealthy lifestyles that are incomprehensible to most of us. But they, or their label, or whoever, still choose to release the kind of garbage that is gobbled up by the masses all in the name of the almighty dollar -- and with the pure quantity of mediocre to bad stuff out there as evidence -- seemingly without a second thought. Anything even slightly resembling traditional or neo-traditional country music is getting booted out of the mainstream in favor of meaningless fratboy faux-machismo cock-rock, and the change is unfortunately being led by some of the format's neo-traditional stars of yesteryear.

With a tradition as strong and a fanbase as passionate as that of genuine country music (of all stripes), sometimes the creative sloths and posers just need to be called out. I am not saying that everything at mainstream radio needs to be pure country; not at all. But the format is in danger of being overrun by songs about trucks, songs about how "I'm countrier-than-thou and proud of it," and songs that sound like something Nickelback wrote at a session with flushing toilets in the background. Mainstream country music, to no one's surprise who has been paying attention, has become a parody of people born and raised in the rural areas of America's mountains and hills, pastures and fields. And I'm talking about people really from the country, not those in the public exaggerating a persona or attitude because they think it makes them badass or cool, and not those who wear a cowboy hat because it's part of  their "image."

For the record, and in the interest of full disclosure, I have no problem admitting that I was raised in the city by two parents who were both raised in the country. I have at times wished they had never moved away while at the same time understanding the desire within them that made it necessary. Country music is still what I was raised on, and my parents' roots and culture have had a profound impact on my life. And with a few detours along the way, it's still the music I love the most. So bearing that in mind, the following write-ups (which I'll admit are pretty rant-y) are not personal attacks on any one artist or fanbase, they are merely subjective personal opinions that very few will read. And trust me, I know I'm in the minority when it comes to these opinions. Also, for anyone who would say to someone like me, "Just turn off the radio," I'm well aware that there is great country music being made that, while it can indeed be bought and thoroughly enjoyed by the consumer away from radio's reaches, is still not getting the chance at mass exposure that it rightly deserves simply because it digs too deep and too far past the embarrassing cliches. The point, really, when all's said and done, is that country music is better than this, and this is what's being projected to the rest of the world.

Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw - "Whatever Makes You Feel Like A Rockstar" - Two of country music's all time bestsellers and highest grossers released a song about being rockstars, and inspiring their audience to do whatever makes them feel like rockstars. Because that is totally what country music is about. As long as they've been around, these guys may literally be the last great hope of keeping good music, at least a little bit of it country (see: "You And Tequila" and "Better Than I Used To Be"), on the radio, but they insist on most of their output being thoughtless garbage like this that may appeal to the masses and to humanity's need for escapism but in reality is more shallow than the shallowest pop song or a dried up creek. Though they reference the lowly people who "bust [their] butt all week" and apparently have nothing in life to look forward to but the weekend, the song is really an affront to those everywhere with "regular jobs." It's loud, pointless, offensive, faux-escapism. McGraw and Chesney can do better. Verdict: BAD. Sample lyric: Whether your pimped up hangin' in the VIP/ or way up high in the cheapest seat/ Hey pretty mama if you roll with me/ there'll be diamonds in the sky and the radio screen. What?


Tim McGraw - "Truck Yeah" - As much as I hate the song above, "Truck Yeah" is one of the worst songs I've heard in years and the worst single of Tim McGraw's career. Hopes were held high for McGraw's new stuff, as he was quite vocal about looking forward to the "creative freedom" he would have once released from the apparently lock-tight shackles of Curb Records. And this -- this -- is the colossal bag of crap that we get. Worse than Tim McGraw recording it is the fact that it took four people to write it. I could put a pen in the hand of a one year old and they could come up with something more creative than this. But what the songwriters did was come up with something that is the equivalent to what said one year old would release into his diaper and subsequently have the audacity to call gold. And the fact that there is banjo in the mix pisses me off all the more. (FYI: I'd rather listen to Rascall Flatts' "Banjo" than this any day of the week.) I know it's just one song, and his last single was really good, but McGraw has almost lost me completely with this one. Verdict: GODAWFUL. Sample lyrics: Got Lil' Wayne pumpin' on my iPod/ thumpin' on the subs in the back of my crew cab/ Redneck rockin' like a rockstar/ Sling a little mud off the back, we can do that. Yup, I am serious.

 Brantley Gilbert - "Kick It In the Sticks" - Brantley Gilbert is not even pretending to play country music. He's just backwoods-ing up the lyrics to his favorite Nickelback songs and throwing them out there to contaminate the country airwaves. This song honestly sounds like something I would listen to when I was seventeen and thought I was cool, angsty and angry at the world (or a girl). Jason Aldean has recorded many of the songs written by Gilbert in the past, but thankfully he's never recorded anything as bad as this or "Country Must Be Country Wide." I'm not even a huge Jason Aldean fan (though I do like several of his singles), but I think Aldean's got more talent, charisma, and country sensibility in his goatee hair than Gilbert does at all. Also, I've seen him live opening for Eric Church and the guy simply cannot sing. Of course, that might have something to do with the loud, obnoxious noises coming from his band behind him. How can anyone hear over that, even with a monitor? After this, I hate to say, surefire number one, I really hope Brantley Gilbert returns again to songwriting obscurity. Verdict: GODAWFUL. Sample lyrics: So pop a top and drop a tailgate/ Yeah we crankin' ACDC, Hank, Skynyrd, and George Strait/ Where's the girls? Bout to call them up/ A little southern drawl said "Hey trouble what's up?" I mean, lyrics like this are enough to make you think God himself has given up on country music.


Chris Cagle - "Got My Country On" - I think this actually came out in 2011, but still. Can Chris Cagle come off as any more desperate to be relevant again? Could he not make a decent living touring and playing to a couple thousand people a night who'd overpay to see him just to hear the three songs of his they know? Instead he releases a song about how country he is and how awesome the weekend will always be for the blue-collar working man. If that ain't jumping on the bandwagon of what's hot right now, then I don't know what is. Granted, of all the songs there are about the exact same thing, this one sounds better than most. It's just that it's completely unoriginal radio filler from a singer who obviously decided to try and take what he thought would be the easy route back to mild country radio success.Verdict: BLAND. Sample lyrics: Trickin' my truck like a cadillac/ crankin' it up in my cowboy hat/ Rollin' and bumpin' to the man in black. Gotta meet that "namecheck a country legend" quota, eh?


Blake Shelton - "Over" - I think that for me Blake Shelton may be getting easier to rag on because of his media over-saturation. I do like the guy; he has a great voice and has released some excellent tunes. But with "Over" he sounds like he's just trying to capitalize on the success of "She Wouldn't Be Gone," which was in just about every way a better song. He traded that song's passionate vocal for a vocal on "Over" that sounds like he's trying to overcompensate for his lack of passion. Strings cascade and swell throughout the song in an attempt to overcompensate for the song's hollowness and replace it with emotional over-manipulation. Shelton is far from the worst thing on country radio these days, I just wish he'd tell NBC and The Voice to shove it so he can maintain focus on his music, and get back to releasing songs in the same vein as "Austin" and "Ol' Red." I hope we don't lose him completely to lovelorn pop-rock. Verdict: BLAND. Lyrically, the song at least strives to be a little more poetic than is normal for the mainstream.

Craig Morgan - "Corn Star" - I do get the appeal of wanting to release a fun summer song, but as hard as this song tries to get you to like it with it's uptempo beat, light-hearted banjo melody, and "fun" play on words, I can't get over how bad and borderline offensive the trying-to-be-cute lyrics are. Some have called it disrespectful to farmers and women but I won't even go that far. Simply put, it's stupid, cliche, and wishes it was Kenny Chesney's superior "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy." I really don't know what else to say about it. As dumb and as giddy as it seems in embracing the lowest common denominator, it truly is a shock that it didn't catch on at radio. Mr. Morgan can do "fun" better than this; he has before. Verdict: BAD. Sample lyrics: There's gossip in town flyin' around/ she was sunset strippin' for tips in LA/ But that's just a buncha bean growers/ talkin' to the bean loaders/ Ain't got a clue about a corn star. All together now... what?

 Luke Bryan - "Drunk On You" - I used to absolutely hate this song. Let me get that out of the way first. Somehow, though, it grew on me without me ever trying to let it; it's just one of those songs that did, though it is not great by any means. But the reason I decided to still include it on this list is because of the line, "Girl you make my speakers go boom boom." That lyric right there might be worse than anything the Black Eyed Peas have ever put out, and that's saying something. I'm not sure what they could have used in its place, but I would honestly think it's a harmless and decent little love song without it. Other than that the song contains some fair (although admittedly silly as hell) lyrics, some banjo (of course at the back of the mix), and what seems to me authentic emotion. It captures the moment of being transfixed by a beautiful woman quite nicely, and Bryan even sings the words "Good God Almighy," a common expression of gratitude to the Creator when said beautiful woman captures the eye. But I just can't abide the "boom boom" line. And the whole storyline and Bryan's acting in the music video is pretty terrible and hokey, and I still hold "Country Girl (Shake It For Me)" against him because he sank to Brantley Gilbert-level bad with that one. But that's all beside the point. Verdict: BAD.

Dishonorable mentions: (These singers are too young and unproven for me to take seriously. I feel bad even including these little blurbs about them, but like it or not, they have become part of the current "bad mainstream country music" problem. Not to mention, they are in high school; don't quite think I'm in their demographic.)

Scotty McCreery - "Water Tower Town" - Just sounds awkward. He's got potential though. Live a little bit of life, Scotty, and get back to us.

Lauren Alaina - "Georgia Peaches" - I don't get it. Mercifully, it seems mainstream country radio programmers and your average country radio listeners (read: not American Idol fangirls) don't either.

Best Country Singles of 2012 You Haven't Heard

It's no surprise that many of the best songs released to country radio fail to make a blip on the charts. Even when some of country music's most popular stars release a song that's a little "different" for mainstream audiences (read: sad, authentic, or tells a heartfelt story), radio programmers and the powers that be tend to shrivel up in fear and refuse to play it. It's not "what the audience wants to hear." What they are really saying, however, is that the song wasn't churned out by "a few bros" before lunch on Monday morning over a cup of coffee, sent to production and compressed to smitherines, and made bereft of all possible soul and genuine emotion, all in the name of not offending the "target audience." There are, of course, a few exceptions. The following songs display a strength of songwriting that is rarely present on the airwaves, and that's why they were not or most likely will not be played. I'm sure I missed a few of the best (I couldn't find a composite list of singles released to country radio in 2012), but these are some of my favorites.

Josh Thompson - "Comin' Around" - With production that contains both banjo and steel guitar front and center in the mix, "Comin' Around" follows Thompson's minor hits "Beer on the Table" and "Way Out Here." A little ironically, the first lines are, "It was like nails on a chalkboard when Daddy played his kind of music/ If you'd have asked me then I'd have said it was borderline abusive/ But I'm gettin' to where I don't mind it now/ I'm comin' around." The way Thompson felt about his father's music back then is how I feel about many songs on today's country airwaves. And anytime there are rumblings of a coming change underneath the surface, something is put out there that makes it evident radio isn't coming around at all. (Peaked at #31)

Wade Bowen - "Saturday Night" - Another product of the Texas music scene, Wade Bowen had the audacity to release a song about how going out on Saturday night can sometimes suck. According to current mainstream "country" culture, if you don't write a song about how going out and getting wasted is always so much damn fun, and instead write a song about how a lot of the time it ain't that damn much fun at all, you are bound to be taken for a crazy person. Of course, this is ultimately a song about heartbreak, which certainly colors the way the narrator feels about this particular Saturday night. But still. (Peaked at #39)

Kellie Pickler - "100 Proof" - I have listened to the songs from her latest project of the same title (though not yet thoroughly) and, well, it's pretty clear from even one listen that the album and singles released from it were not destined to take the mainstream by storm; it's simply too old-school. Granted, that would have been great, and I'm sure that's ultimately what Pickler would love to have happened. But even though she's a fairly household name due to her appearance on and subsequent fame garnered from American Idol, country radio simply did not give Kellie Pickler a chance this time around. This particular song just sounds good, with steel guitar and Picker's twangily strong vocals heavily featured; it's a traditional, or at least neo-traditional, song pleasantly updated for today's mainstream audience with it's soul more than intact. Unfortunately, soulless is what's popular. (Peaked at #50)

The Mavericks - "Born To Be Blue" - Those unmistakeable jangly guitars are back and they haven't lost a bit of the sound or urgency that made them temporary successes with the mainstream back in the 90s. I remember really liking every single they released in those days. Though I couldn't come close to putting my finger on it back then, looking back now I realize there was always something different about them; they stood out, even to my young ears. "Born To Be Blue" picks up right where The Mavericks left it when they split -- the Roy Orbison-esque vocals of Raul Malo, the driving percussion, the heartbroken lyrics mixed with the light-hearted-good-time-jangly-downright-danceable instrumentation, executed by the members of the band with considerable skill and cohesion. It's yet to be seen whether signing with an offshoot imprint under the umbrella of label Big Machine Records (the new kings of Music Row) will translate to success in the format once again, but either way it's good to have them back. (Currently at #49)

 Josh Abbott Band - "Touch" - I really need to listen to more of this group. They have been mighty popular in the Red Dirt/Texas scene (are you noticing a trend here?), and even tasted mild country radio success with the beautiful mandolin-soaked number "Oh Tonight" in the summer of last year (the single reached #44). Abbott's vocals bear a striking resemblance to another of Texas country music's finest, and one of my favorites, Randy Rogers. Lyrically, their latest single "Touch" is your pretty standard telling of a love gone wrong (though the line "Can't stop starin'/ My eyes keep takin' off what you're wearin'" does stand out), but it's so passionately sung by Abbott and played by the band that the emotional payoff is extraordinary, which isn't the easiest thing do to with a fiddle- and organ-laced country rocker. If this one doesn't crack them into the mainstream consciousness in a similar way that Eli Young Band's "Crazy Girl" did for that group, then hopefully the next track released off their Small Town Family Dream album will do the job. (Currently at #41)

George Strait - "Drinkin' Man" - It's nearly unforgivable the way radio has treated what is the best single of the past five years from country music's elder statesman. "Drinkin' Man" tells the heartbreaking story of one man's lifelong struggle with alcohol, starting at the tender age of fourteen. We sympathize profoundly with the narrator because he talks about how he's tried to quit and how he knows his reliance on drink is hurting those closest to him who love him the most. Take, for example, this chill-inducing line: "Stayed sober once for nine days in a row, I quit cold turkey/ Damn near almost made it ten/ But that's a hell of a lot to ask/ of a drinkin' man." In a similar way that Wade Bowen sings a different tune about Saturday nights, George Strait sings a different tune about alcohol. Many songs on country radio (and pop radio for that matter) glorify night after night of drinking to excess, but "Drinkin' Man" trades glory and good times for something a little more poignant, dangerous, and real. And it doesn't matter that it's sung and co-written by King George; radio programmers wouldn't touch something this authentic with a thirty-seven foot pole. And they didn't. (Peaked at #37)

Turnpike Troubadours - "Gin, Smoke, Lies" - I hope to write a little more on this here blog about Turnpike Troubadours, though no amount of praise, written or shared, that I could heap on the band would do them justice, not to mention that said praise would often venture into hyperbole, for better or worse. Quickly to the point, this is one of the best, if not the best, country bands making music today. The lyrics are sharp: if they aren't making you chuckle then they're making you cry (or at least feel like you could). The musicianship is tight, skillful, and nuanced: I challenge you to find a band of any genre that uses instrumentation so perfectly to the degree that each song calls for as well as these guys. The vocals are... well, I'll just say that lead singer and principal songwriter Evan Felker has quickly become one of my favorite voices; twangy, earnest, and emotive (some friends I have compare him to Ryan Adams, though I enjoy Felker quite a bit more). "Gin, Smoke, Lies" is the first single from their recent May release, Goodbye Normal Street, and it's as ferocious a first single as you're bound to hear. Banjo, fiddle, and heavily pounding drums (think "We Will Rock You") round out the production, and Felker's lyrics are as biting and sharp as ever: "Well a spade is made for diggin' dirt/ and an ax is made for choppin'/ Darlin' my heart's hard as nails they hammer/ in a hardwood coffin/ In a hardwood coffin." The "coffin" line is sung twice to drive home the starkly bleak imagery, you know, just in case you missed it. In the end, it's a stone cold country song that flat out rocks, a cheating song the likes of which you've never heard before. CMT.com somewhat surprisingly debuted the video (which I believe was the group's first ever) for the song earlier this week, and if it catches any sort of mainstream traction, I can honestly say it might be the best thing to happen to mainstream country music this century. Turnpike Troubadours are simply too good not to want the rest of the world to hear. (no chart position...yet)

Best Singles of 2012 So Far (that actually had/have a chance at radio)

There are bright spots to be found on country radio; songs that don't name check trucks, songs trying to keep traditional country alive to the small degree that it can be done in the Clear Channel era, and even a few pop-country guilty pleasures. The following is a list of my favorite songs released to country radio this year that radio actually gave, or is giving, a chance to succeed, slight chance though it may be for some of them. They are in no particular order except for the top five at the bottom.

Greg Bates - "Did It For the Girl" - I just heard this song the other day and was immediately impressed with it. Sure, it's nothing new, but it sounds good and is so damn catchy. It's about as neo-traditional as country radio gets these days. We'll see what his album sounds like, but with the sound of this new single, Greg Bates has a chance at becoming the new Easton Corbin.

Big & Rich - "That's Why I Pray" - Call me crazy, but I think the new one from Big & Rich sounds unique in the mainstream country landscape, partly for the unmistakeable harmonies and a verse style that makes the song stand out. Big & Rich display here an ability to write and sing positively about personal faith without pandering or putting down those who don't believe.

Eli Young Band - "Even If It Breaks Your Heart" - Another song with a positive message, this is one that begs the listener to keep on dreaming no matter what. Failure is not only an option, it's a guarantee. But you keep doing whatever it takes no matter how many times the odds reload against you. Veterans of the Texas music scene, Eli Young Band have taken country radio by storm. Here's hoping they stick to their Texas roots and don't go too corporate Nashville on us.

Easton Corbin - "Lovin' You Is Fun" - His upcoming album is one of my most anticipated of the year. "Roll With It" and "Leaving a Lonely Town" from his impressive debut were both stunning songs. "Lovin' You Is Fun" is, well, a fun song about being in love, and probably a good choice for a first single off the new album. It's catchy, light-hearted, and confessional, and every Easton Corbin song already starts out with one advantage: his voice.

Gloriana - "Kissed You (Goodnight)" - I check the singles charts every Thursday. I kept seeing this song for a few weeks without ever hearing it, thinking, "Dear Lord, what have they come out with this time?" But much to my surprise, when I heard it for the first time I was already singing the chorus before the song was over. It tells a pretty good story, simple though it may be, that we can all relate to. Call it a guilty pleasure if you must, but this is one of the most infectious singles of the year.


Lady Antebellum - "Dancin' Away With My Heart" - Okay. I would totally get it if you stopped reading right now. Gloriana and Lady Antebellum back to back on a 'best of' country radio list? Well... oh well. This one sells nostalgia beautifully, and the group's best asset, their harmonies, really shine on this one. For me, it joins the company of "Lookin' For a Good Time" and "American Honey" as one of their best singles.

Little Big Town - "Pontoon" - Without a doubt, the song of the summer in my opinion. I'm honestly surprised at how slow it's rising on the country charts (currently it sits at number 15, but it's at number 13 on the all-genre iTunes singles chart). I wouldn't be surprised in the least if it becomes their first number one, but I also wouldn't be surprised if radio programmers shaft them yet again. Somehow they always seem to find a way. (My earlier review of "Pontoon" can be found HERE.)

Tim McGraw - "Better Than I Used To Be" - One of his best singles in years, especially coming after the lazy unabashedly aiming-for-the-soccer-mom-deomagraphic "Felt Good On My Lips," which is one of the worst of his career. "Better Than I Used To Be," with its poignant self-reflective lyrics, conjures up similar feelings to past McGraw singles "My Next Thirty Years" and "Angry All the Time." I only wish we were going to get more like this from the singer after his departure from Curb Records, rather than embarrassing, pathetically bad songs like "Truck Yeah." (Do yourself a favor and check out Sammy Kershaw's excellent take on the song as well.)


Zac Brown Band - "The Wind" - ZBB have only had two singles not reach the number one position ("Whatever It Is" and "Keep Me In Mind" only reached number two) on the charts. "The Wind" really shows the band at its bluegrassy best: they are ferocious pickers and players of their respective instruments. The song moves at such blistering speed that the lyrics at first seem unimportant. But after you hear it a few times, you realize the lyrical depth is there, which is rare for a such an up-tempo single. Try sitting still and not singing along or tapping your toe when this one comes on (careful if driving).

Chris Young - "Neon" - The best song on his most recent album of the same name, this neo-traditional classic is--to the surprise of no one-- very slowly making its way up the charts. If I were less cynical about country radio, I would blame the director and whomever else was responsible for the atrocious video for "Neon." But I am indeed quite cynical when it comes to country radio; simply put, they rarely know a good country song when they hear one anymore. If they did, this would be the fastest rising single of Young's career. (My review of "Neon" from earlier this year can be found HERE.)

Eric Church - "Springsteen" - Church's second straight number one is a piano-laced affair driven by steady drums, crisp production, and non-pandering nostalgia. It's a song that, despite desperate wishes to the contrary by some, proves Eric Church isn't going anywhere anytime soon. (More thoughts on "Springsteen" can be found HERE.)

Alan Jackson - "So You Don't Have To Love Me Anymore" - One of the best singles of Jackson's storied career, this song was all over the video countdowns on CMT and GAC, but of course failed to strike much of a chord at radio. It's only on the "singles that radio actually gave a chance" list because it at least cracked the top 30. Depressingly, Jackson hasn't had a song reach the top ten since 2009's "Sissy's Song," (number nine) and I'm not sure which song on his latest album, Thirty Miles West, would have the best chance at breaking that streak. Another duet with Zac Brown would be helpful, but unfortunately not one that's seven minutes long (see "Dixie Highway" from Thirty Miles West). Perhaps "Talk Is Cheap"? (My earlier review of "So You Don't Have To Love Me Anymore" can be found HERE.)

Quotes from The Hag

I just started reading Merle Haggard's autobiography My House of Memories, and thought it would be fun to share some of my favorite quotes on here. Merle is one of my favorite country singers of all time, so I'm sure it will be an enjoyable and fascinating read.

"I've heard tens of thousands chant my name when I couldn't hear the voice of my own soul."

"Country music is different today and more popular than it has ever been. But it seems a little short on soul and substance sometimes, and it doesn't turn me on!"

"What an unselfish man he was, to do what he needed to instead of what he wanted to." (regarding his father)

"Ever since my early childhood, I have found more importance in the trait of honesty--and was aware of its necessity--than maybe most children."

"There is something about moving that liberates me to this day, even though I sometimes get burned out from all my traveling."

"There is a restlessness in my soul that I've never conquered, not with motion, marriages, or meaning, although I'm more satisfied today than ever. My restlessness isn't as pronounced as it was when I was young. I've mellowed a lot, but it's still there to a degree. And it will be till the day I die."

Single Review: "Pontoon" - Little Big Town

Songwriters: Barry Dean, Natalie Hembry, Luke Laird

If there is a group (or singer) currently on country radio that is more deserving of releasing a mindlessly fun, pandering summer song than Little Big Town, please let me know and provide support for your answer. You can't: there is no answer but Little Big Town.

It might come as a surprise, but for all the years this group has been around, they have yet to have one of their singles peak at number one. The closest they've gotten is when "Bring It On Home," an emotional ballad from their platinum album The Road to Here, peaked at number four in September of 2006. "Little White Church," from their most recent album The Reason Why, peaked at number six in October of 2010 (I had high hopes radio had once again embraced LBT after this song performed well. Alas, subsequent singles from this album were colossal duds). And for as ubiquitous as the song "Boondocks" seemed during the latter half of 2005 and the beginning of 2006, it barely cracked the top ten, reaching only nine on the charts. "Boondocks." NINE. It seems hard to believe. I don't pretend to understand.

So you can hardly blame them for releasing a single that some are calling a "step down" in quality for the most resilient group in mainstream country music. But I wouldn't call it a step down. I would call it doing what needs to be done in hopes of garnering radio play, and hopefully their first number one hit. If this is what it takes for radio programmers to think twice about playing "Need You Now" for the trillionth damn time, I am all for it. And when a summer song is as fun and tongue-and-cheeky as "Pontoon," it doesn't hurt either. And that's exactly what "Pontoon" is: a damn fun song.

For anyone who's ever taken a weekend trip to the lake, the images are familiar: backing your hitch into the water, koozies, coolers, barbecue, and inner tubes. It's not even about partying hard and getting all recreational: "Who said anything about skiing?/ Floating is all I wanna do." It's about relaxing, being lazy, partying "in slow motion." Beer, of course, is a must, and I can forgive their lack of discretion in beer preference: "Reach your hand down into the cooler/ Don't drink it if the mountains aren't blue" (Miller Lite > Coor's Light all day long, people). Even the pace and feel of the song is slow and lazy. The summer heat is palpable. Mandolin, electric, guitar and slowly-chugging-along percussion do a great job of complimenting the care-free lyrics. Karen Fairchild assumes lead vocal duties on the track, and her sexy rasp suits it just right. Lightening the mood of the song even more is the line you can't help but chuckle at, "Out here in the open/ Mmm-motorboatin'," which works as a bit of a double entendre recalling the glory that was the 2005 movie Wedding Crashers. It would have been a stroke of genius had they been able to get Vince Vaughn to make a cameo in the video.

In the end, it's nice to take the "I'm serious about real country music" hat off once in awhile, and simply enjoy a song that just makes you want to sit in the sun with your friends and have a beer (which is a characteristic of a lot of good country songs, if I recall). Also: roll down the windows in your car. They may lean a little more toward pop on the music pendulum (though not nearly as much as some "country" artists), but there is no denying the talent of each member in Little Big Town. When country-pop is done as well as this group has proven it can be done, I have no problem with radio programmers making room for it on their playlists. "Pontoon" is currently sitting at number thirty-six on the country singles chart and steadily moving up.

So take off your serious hat as you get on the boat, please. Or simply leave it on. We can all still have a good time.

Rating: 7.5/10

Update (9/6): "Pontoon" hit number one this past week, a first for Little Big Town. Congrats!

Update (11/3): "Pontoon" won the CMA Award for Single of the Year a couple nights ago. Little Big Town also won the award for Vocal Group of the Year, an honor that's been a long time coming. For my thoughts on the 2012 CMA ceremony and spectacle, click here.

Lake Songs

Laurel River Lake - Corbin, KY

The lake is like the ocean for those who aren't lucky enough to live on the coast. Sure, it's not nearly as vast, but you have everything you need: a boat, water, beer, friends, and music. And you can't relax on a tube and drink a beer in the ocean without getting swept out to sea. In my experience, there's nothing that can make you hate your job, and fantasize about being out on the water, more than good lake song. Here are a few:

Brad Paisley - "Be the Lake"

It was either this or his 2010 hit "Water." This one wins out because of the bluegrassy intro and a sweet banjo lick. Paisley can a times become a parody of himself with his humorous songs, but this one's pretty clever. The guy just wants to get close to a hot gal. "Wish I could be the lake that you're swimming in."

Alan Jackson - "Chattahoochee"

The Chattahoochee is a river, but who cares. This is an undisputed classic.

Craig Morgan - "Redneck Yacht Club"

I'm not the biggest Craig Morgan fan, but he has released some great singles and this is one of them. It's just undeniably fun. And there is actual country instrumentation: banjo, fiddle, steel guitar. Perfect lake song.

John Prine - "Lake Marie"

So it's not necessarily about partying on the lake, and Prine literally talks the verses, and a murder occurs, and it may or may not be a metaphor for the dissolution of a marriage, but it's one of the greatest songs ever written. The chorus will give you chills. Also, it contains a great image of Italian sausages sizzlin' on the grill.

 Drive-By Truckers - "Drag the Lake Charlie"

 This is another uplifting song about a possible murder and the search for the body. But DAMN, that guitar riff is a thing of hard rock and roll beauty. I'd have it on repeat on the boat speakers all day long.

Zac Brown Band featuring Jimmy Buffett - "Knee Deep"

A perfect ode to getting out on the water and leaving the daily grind behind for a few days. It's also pretty clever lyrically. "Only worry in the world, is the tide gonna reach my chair?" (I know, lakes don't have tides. Oh well. It still works.)

Kenny Chesney featuring Uncle Kracker - "When the Sun Goes Down"

It doesn't get much more easygoing tip-it-on-(laid)-back than this. And, as a night owl, it's a personal favorite.

Stayed tuned tomorrow for a review of Little Big Town's new single, "Pontoon," country radio's latest ode to heavy machinery that glides on water.

Some Songs About Fathers on Father's Day

 Merle Haggard - "Hungry Eyes"

 A simple song about a hard-working father trying, and often struggling, to make a living and provide for his family. Written by Haggard himself, the song reached number one on the country charts in 1969. This video is a great classic performance.

 The Avett Brothers - "St. Joseph's"

The Brothers write and sing about the many blessings of becoming a new father and how it can change a man. Namely, make him a more grateful and devoted person. This video is an all-time favorite.

Drive-By Truckers - "Where the Devil Don't Stay"

Mike Cooley wrote this song based off a poem written by his uncle. In it the narrator recalls stories of his father's moonshining back in the 1930s. A ferocious rocker of a song (the opening is chill-inducing) with excellent lyrics and a dab of social commentary, done as only DBT can, thrown in as well.

Eli Young Band - "My Old Man's Son"

The title of this one pretty much says it all. It's about a son growing into a man and realizing how much he is truly like his father, from the way he holds the steering wheel to the way he holds a woman's hand. To all the sons out there who are like me, this one's easy to relate to. (I have no idea about the slideshow in the video, but it's the only normal version of the song I could find on Youtube.)

Gary Allan - "Tough Little Boys"

A sentimental song about fatherhood from one of country music's most underrated male artists. It all rides on the line: "When tough little boys grow up to be dads, they turn into big babies again." A little cheesy? Sure. But Mr. Allan sells it well. I imagine this as the anthem for many father/daughter duos out there.

Randy Travis - "He Walked On Water"

Grandfathers and great-grandfathers are (obviously) fathers too, and this classic Travis tune pays great tribute to the larger-than-life status children often give them. Classic country production compliments detail-oriented lyrics that are often chill-inducing because we recognize the man in the song from our own lives.

Loretta Lynn - "Coal Miner's Daughter"

 

 Similar in theme to Haggard's "Hungry Eyes," Lynn's tribute to her coal-mining father is a well-known classic. The voice of Butcher Holler in Van Lear, Kentucky sings about how her daddy worked hard to support the family, and when mining coal wasn't enough, he'd always manage find something else to do for money. And even then it might have been just barely enough to scrape by.